Me: My feet are freezing.
Dad: That's because you have a black heart that pumps ice cold blood to your extremities.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Me: My feet are freezing.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Me: I told you, before the season even started, that the Bears were going to the Superbowl. And you didn't believe me!
Brother 1: It doesn't count when you say that every year.
Me: I was right this year.
Brother 1: It doesn't count when you were wrong the past 5 years!
Me: We're still going to the Superbowl.
Brother 1: Yeah, we are!
Posted by Vanessa at 7:44 AM
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
We have a golden retriever, named Buddy, who's afraid of storms, scary movies, and the sound a didgeridoo makes. Brother 2 was playing the didgeridoo in the living room, and Buddy was jumping around barking at him.
Me: Stop freaking out the dog.
Brother 2: You know, Buddy used to be a concert didgeridoo player.
Me: Really? Then why is he afraid of it?
Brother 2: Well, ever since that freak didgeridoo accident, he hasn't been able to handle the sound of it.
Me: What happened during the freak didgeridoo accident?
Brother 2: It's too traumatizing, I can't discuss it.
Posted by Vanessa at 10:50 AM
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Brother 2 jumps on top of me.
Me: Get off!
Brother 2: What? Are you uncomfortable??
Me: Yes, you have your knee digging into my toe that has metal pins in it. Yes, that's uncomfortable.
Brother 2: Just wait, tonight, I'm going to get a huge sheet, with those pull ties on it, and put it on your bed. Then, when you're asleep, I'm going to close it up, with you and your blankets inside. You'll see what uncomfortable is when I drag you down the hallway.
Brother 2: Then, I'm going to drag you outside in the freezing cold and dump cold water on you. No, wait, make it warm water, so you're comfortable for a couple seconds, then, you'll turn into an ice cube.
Posted by Vanessa at 8:50 AM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
Brother 1: Brother 2 and I are going to invent exploding pants.
Brother 1: Yeah, we're going to drench them in pesticides, and then, when you lit a match near them, they will explode.
Me: But then your legs would explode too.
Brother 1: It's ok, we're only going to sell them to people in New Zealand.
Posted by Vanessa at 9:50 AM
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Brother 1 is still fixated on this bet.
Brother 1: You know, if you die, and I still haven't been nice for a whole day, I'm going to try really hard to win the bet. Then, I'm going to dig up your body and have sex with it.
My Friend: That's disgusting.
Brother 1: Well, I want you to be able to rest peacefully. That's what's going to need to be done for your soul to be content.
Posted by Vanessa at 10:00 AM
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
This post is in honor of John, as he likes poop. (Remember to vote for both of us in the Bloggies!)
Brother 2 comes running up to the bathroom door.
Brother 2: When are you going to be done??? I really need to poop!!!
Me: Ha! That's what I'm doing too!
Brother 2: Girls don't poop. Dad's taking a shower in the other bathroom! Come on!!
I could hear him dancing around in the hallway. He runs down the hall.
Brother 2: Dad! Get out of the shower! I need to poop.
Dad: Use the other bathroom!
Brother 2: Vanessa's in there!
Dad gets out of the shower, 'cause he too can hear Brother 2 dancing around.
Dad: Wow, this is fun! It's a Craptacular Extraveganza!! Everyone in the house is pooping at the exact same time!!!
Posted by Vanessa at 9:16 AM
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
One of my friends made a bet with Brother 1. If he can be nice, and not say one mean thing, for an entire 24 hours, she'll sleep with him. She know's it's impossible.
Brother 1: I was nice the whole day!
Brother 1's friend: No. You weren't.
Brother 1: Doesn't being nice to myself count?
My Friend: No. You need to be nice to everyone for the entire day.
Brother 1: Oh... that's too hard.
Posted by Vanessa at 12:29 PM
Saturday, January 06, 2007
My friend was trying to explain to Brother 1 what "People First Language" is (ex. it's correct to say a child with autism, not an autistic child).
Brother 1: Ok, I get it. 'Cause the child has autism, you say "a child with autism". You wouldn't say autistic child, 'cause that would mean that the autism has child disease.
Posted by Vanessa at 9:49 PM
Friday, January 05, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Me: You should go see an opthamologist.
Brother 1: Did you make that word up?
Me: No, an opthamologist is an eye doctor.
Brother 1: No... I think you made it up. Like Norwegian. That's a made up word.
Me: A person from Norway?
Brother 1: Norwege is not a country.
Posted by Vanessa at 8:56 AM
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
We threw a party last night, so that the boys could watch the Bears game. It got a little out of control.
Mom walks outside at 6am, Brother 1 and three of his friends are in the hot tub. She can't see their heads. There is foam two feet high, spilling over the edge. Someone decided that they needed bubbles, and Brother 1 dumped half a bottle of dawn dish soap into the hot tub. Great idea.
Posted by Vanessa at 3:16 PM