Crap crap crap
Crap in the spring
Crap in the fall
Crap on the rooftop
Crap in the hall
Crap in the front yard
Frozen crap is really hard
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Dad: Today's the 20th?
Me: Yeah. Tomorrow's free iced coffee day at Dunkin Donuts!
Dad: Tomorrow's the first day of spring. We should celebrate today too, by painting in really bushy eyebrows on our faces. It'll be a national holiday. Bushy Eyebrow Day!
Me: Sounds fun.
Dad: And on Bushy Eyebrow Day, you have to go by your Greek name. Do you remember yours?
Posted by Vanessa at 8:27 AM
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Dad: This year is James Bond year! 007! We should make up another holiday and celebrate James Bond Day.
Me: When's James Bond's birthday?
Dad: November 16th, 1924... whoa, he's older than Gorgo. I bet they have to send the bad guys to the nursing home for him to fight.
Posted by Vanessa at 11:39 AM
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
So, I always thought that scene in A Christmas Story, where the boy sticks his tongue to the pole, and it gets stuck, was just a myth, and while it could happen, no one would actually try it.
According to my grandpa's sister, he talked her into licking a drain pipe when they were in elementary school, and he stood there laughing at her while she struggled to get unstuck.
Posted by Vanessa at 11:56 AM
Monday, March 19, 2007
A couple years ago, Christmas Eve.
Grandpa Gorgo: Here, you can have these, or give them to the kids. They weren't very good.
He hands my dad a stack of Girls Gone Wild video tapes.
Later that night, when my entire extended family was over.
Brother 1: Can we pleeeease watch our Christmas present from Grandpa?? Please?!?!
Mom: No. You are not keeping those.
Brother 1: But it would be fun! I bet Grandma would enjoy them!
Posted by Vanessa at 11:39 AM
Friday, March 16, 2007
I always knew my grandpa as Grandpa Gorgo. Not until sometime during elementary school did I find out this his real name was Bill.
He got the nickname when Dad was little, 'cause he used to sit on the side of the pool smoking his pipe. Which, of course, made him look like an aquatic fire breathing dinosaur.
Posted by Vanessa at 9:02 AM
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Brother 1, having a conversation with our 11 year old golden retriever.
Brother 1: You're ugly. Yeah, I said it. You are ugly.
(kicks a stuffed soccer ball at him)
Brother 1: Why won't you play soccer with me?!? You are such a useless dog. You know you're going to die soon, so you should play soccer with me while you still can!
Posted by Vanessa at 9:53 AM
Monday, March 12, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Phone call with Brother 1-
Me: I'm getting skinny.
Brother 1: Good, I'm getting strong, and that'll make it easier for me to throw you into a wall.
The next morning with Brother 2-
Brother 2: Volleyball is going to make me buff. I'm going to be able to throw you and your hippopotamus ass all the way across the room.
Posted by Vanessa at 8:30 AM
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Dad: Do you want to arm wrestle me for this pickle?
Dad: Why not?
Me: I don't want a pickle, and you would beat me.
Dad: You're right! I would beat you so bad, you wouldn't want to arm wrestle me ever again!
Me: I didn't want to arm wrestle you in the first place.
Posted by Vanessa at 5:54 PM
Friday, March 02, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Brother 2 walks out of the bathroom: Owwww.... I've got a cramp!!! I peed too fast!!
Me: Uh... Wait... you can't get cramps from peeing! Where do you have a cramp? In your leg or something?
Brother 2: You can definitely get cramps from peeing too fast, or for too long. Right in the spot between your penis and your balls.
Posted by Vanessa at 8:36 AM