Golden Retrievers

Brother 1: When I get a dog, I hope it's half as nice as Buddy. I'm definitely getting a golden. Golden Retrievers are the best dogs.

Me: What about Sarah (Cousin J's golden retriever), she's kinda crazy?

Brother 1: That's 'cause Sarah is a girl dog, I'm getting a boy dog. Girl dogs are like girl humans. They go through heat and hump walls and doors.

Me: Girl humans go through heat and hump doors?

Brother 1: Yeah. Why do you think you're always humping stuff?