2 Things

Brother 1 is driving home from school when he calls me on the phone.

Brother 1: I have two things to tell you.

Me: Ok.

Brother 1: One-- I thought I crapped my pants. It smelled so bad in my car. But then I drove by a deer that had been hit by a car, and it had shit all over the road. So I didn't crap my pants, it was just a dead deer trying to trick me.

Two-- Did you know that Ohio doesn't start until you're already into Cincinatti? Cincinatti is probably 30% in Kentucky. It's ok though, 'cause they have a double decker bridge. If you're heading north, you get to be on the bottom.