Nightmares

Grandma: I wouldn't do LSD! No way! I wouldn't have one of those nice trips where you're imagining lying on the beach. I would have nightmares! Awful nightmares. I couldn't do it.

Flat

Dad: The world is flat! And the sun revolves around us! Because we're the greatest! The greatest, baby! Greatest!

Tattoos

Brother 1: I want to get a monkey tattoo! On my butt. So it looks like the monkey is climbing out of my butt crack. Or the monkey's mouth could be my butt hole!!! "Aw, the monkey is sick, oh no!". I would definitely need to eat some White Castle before I went to get that tattoo.