Halo

Brother 1: Isn't that Brother 2's Halo 3 t-shirt?

Me: None of my t-shirts fit me anymore. And this one is soft and comfy.

Rich: At least you know the baby will be a Halo player.

Brother 1, rubs my belly: Hello Master Chief.

Vampires

I worked all day removing a bunch of stuff from this photograph for a hotel advertisement, and was really happy with how it turned out, so I emailed it to a few people to show it off.

before:


after:



Response from Brother 1:
WoW. Everyone knows that with the new special camera you were using it is possible to take pictures of Vampires. The only problem is that photoshop has a hard time discerning the individual pixels of the ghostly figure. Thus, No Vampire in the photoshopped image.

Pork Chawesome AND YOU!!!!

Recipe I received from Brother 1:

The first step to pork chawesome is to get some pork.
The second step to pork chawesome is to get some chawesome.
Your probably thinking where do i get some chawesome, Is it in isle 8 of my grocery store?
NO!!!

To make Chawesome just take Italian bread crumbs and mix them with more italian seasoning and Parmesan Cheese.

Violently slap the pork into a plate of some kind of oil, preferably not motor oil.
Drip off extra oil and punt the oiled pork into the Chawesome covering them thoroughly.
Place in the oven for 25- 45 min. Pork is very nice because it doesn't care how long you cook it for.
Pork + Chawesome + Heat = Pork Chawesome

So you've made pork chawesome but dont have any sides?
Recomended sides - Mushroom rice
pee's or green beans
Corn is terrible with pork chawesome
if you suggested corn I would not allow you to eat any of my Chawesome Pork

Never Allowed to Babysit

Brother 1: When I babysit your kid, I'm going to duct tape it to the wall above the TV. That way I can watch both at the same time. I'm also going to make a saddle for your kid to ride the dog. Or maybe I'll just hog tie the baby to the dog, that would be easier. I'm also getting it a tricycle. If it's too little to pedal, I'll just tape its hands and feet to the handle bars and pedals, and push it down a hill.