Cake

Me: I really wanted cake the other day, so I made a cake and wrote "Kyle is Awesome" on it. That way, Kyle would be excited when he got home from work, and I would get to eat cake.

Brother 1: You should have insulted him on it. Insult cakes are better.

Brother 2: Yeah, like "You're a butthole" cake.

Fire Anniversary

Our furnace is broken.

Brother 2: DO NOT let them fix the furnace today!!

Mom: It's cold.

Brother 2: It is the anniversary of our house burning down. Seriously, you're going to risk it?

Mom: I don't think things work that way.