Brother 2: We're going to have a set of challenges for you to complete before you can marry my sister. One of them will be skinny dipping in the Arctic. Brother 1 was able to do it, so you should be able to. Only then will you be able to be my brother.
Brother 1 can't come home for Thanksgiving.
Brother 1: Dad told me that making Thanksgiving dinner just for myself is worse than drinking alone.
Dad: Nice toe nails.
Me: I need to cut them, can you get me the clippers?
Dad: Let me get the butcher knife.
Last weekend I went to the Marine Birthday Ball with my great grandpa, he was a Marine in Korea, and was honored for being the oldest Marine in attendance. We were drinking from the time I got off the plane on Thursday until Sunday night when I left.
Gramps: I went to the doctor today. She said my blood is 90% alcohol and 10% blood.
