Cousin J: When I die, I'm going to be encased in gold in a really epic pose. Then I'm going to have someone take me all over the world until my money runs out. Then, I'm going to be dropped to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Future people will find me down there and think I was really important.
Dad: Aw. Sweet gargantuan gopher balls. The letter of the day is G. Sweet gargantuan gopher gonads.
Dad: Your mom left the eggs out. We're all going to get salmonella. Sammy Davis Jr. and Ella Fitzgerald.
Have you played this game? Seriously. Best game ever.
Me: Why is the unicorn a robot?
Brother 1: Because. How would a real unicorn make your dreams come true?
Violet is crazy, she fits right in. She was squealing and screeching and banging on a table.
Jack (age 4): Too loud.
Then, he turned off his hearing aids.
Have you seen Trailer Park Boys? It's an awesome Canadian show. Dad decided he's going to talk like Conkey from now on.
Mom: Why are you so weird?
Brother 2: Uh. I spend 8 hours a day with a guy who talks in a high pitch gravely voice. How can I not be weird?
Here's a video featuring Conkey. He's the puppet.
